I'm Bored

I'm going to talk about some things that I love so much why don't I marry it.

I love cheese and broccoli. I usually eat them together, but I could deal with them separate. But let me ask you this: could the black guy from 'The Thing' be any more black?

I love how in horror movies, some terrifying fucking ghost will suddenly appear in front of a person and the person totally freaks out, but then the ghost disappears and the person is like, "Whew, must have been my imagination! I'm just gonna keep walking through this fucking abandoned hospital!" whereas any of us normal people would be shitting our pants in the loony bin for the rest of our lives.

I love being better at things than other people, but pretending like I don't notice.

I love Sigourney Weaver.

I fucking love farting, and if you don't, you're lying.

I love being drunk enough at a party to sit down with some bitch you hate and talk about all your feelings and come to the conclusion that you two should have been best friends a long time ago. Then wake up the next morning and go, "HAHA what a fucking bitch!"

I love how when you get to college, you realize that teachers actually don't know what the fuck they're talking about, and everything they teach you comes from some book that would take you 10 minutes to read.

I love how some people think 'Donnie Darko' actually has a point.

I love guys with big noses. The bigger your nose, the more fucked up shit you can do to me and I still won't be mad.

I know I love the 'Harry Potter' books, but I don't remember jack-shit about them.

I love how crash dieting totally works, and the awesome attention you get when you do it.

I love how most naturally gorgeous dudes look fucking hideous with facial hair, but they refuse to shave it because they think it makes them look manly, and I guess that means they'd rather be a fucking hideous man than a gorgeous dude. No, wait...I fucking hate that.

I love how every time rich people do something, it's not cool anymore.

I love how any documentary is considered amazing, even if it doesn't make any fucking sense, as long as it scares the shit out of people.

I love fugly guys with Jewfros.

I always, always will.

And on that note, I'm pretty much out of things I love. Goodnight!