Sunday, January 22, 2012

THE FUCKING SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is football, so I automatically don't give a shit.

I'm not a genius, but I'm probably smarter than the entire cast and crew of "Glee" put together, and I still do not know the first fucking thing about football.

My knowledge of football is as follows:

Not even a month ago, I asked the question, "Why is it called football if no one ever kicks the ball?"

Apparently, that's not true. As if any of you assholes knew that either. I don't care how many eighth downs it takes to get to the seventy-sixth yard line, and I never will. I tried though, okay? I have been coached one-on-one by at LEAST twenty giant, burly, bearded, greasy, disgusting men about the rules and the overall point of football.

It's just not going to happen for me. I can deal with basketball, and baseball is wonderful. Tennis is a mockery of athletics and hockey is even worse. If this mated with this, hockey would be born. Don't even get me started on hockey.

Anyway, I shouldn't keep talking because all of the 49ers just pulled up in a party bus to take me to Vegas.

I don't give a shit about their sport and they still like me better than all of you!

Holla.

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