Bad News

Turns out, the only person who reads this blog (mom and sometimes dad [it's fine, they're one person]) actually stopped reading it YEARS AGO.

The convo:

ME: Mom. Why haven't I been getting texts from you and/or dad that say things like, "Hi! You wrote a blog! Good for you! Love, Dad"? Oh, by the way, you reeeaaaaally don't need to sign off because I fucking know it's you because...well...that's how fucking cellphones work. CRAZY.

MOM: Oh, honey. I don't read your blog anymore. It's straight up disgusting.

That's love.

In other news, one of my roommates has explosive poop soup and I can hear it through the walls!

Sometimes I just feel so small and insignificant in this universe. Because, really, aren't we all just a hardened ball of pee in God's cat's litter box?

I think the real question here is: does God scoop us out himself? Or, does he have one of those automatic litter box robots that rakes us into bags?

Thanks for listening, no one.