I Miss You

That "I miss you" was directed at no one in particular. It wasn't directed at you, or you, or whatever, but regardless, I TOTES MISS YOU.

What am I talking about?

Don't fucking worry about it.

Look. I've been in New York for about a week and a half. It's been fucking delicious. What is wrong with me? I hated this godforsaken wasteland of shit for such a long time, and now I feel like picking up my phone and sexting with it. What the fuck? I wanna go down on New York. I wanna tickle the nuts, or labia or whatever New York might have down there. I wanna pleasure the shit out of New York and have some kind of pizza with it, or like, steak or something. Or, whatever you have with a sexual date. I want to fuck the crap out of this city. I want to make sex on it. I want to kill it and wear it like a fucking burka. Kill me.

God.

Does this even count as a blog post?

Shoot me in the face.