I KNOW it's been a while. Chill.

I'm sorry. I gotta talk about this fucking election.

IT

IS

A

SHITSHOOOOOOOOW.


Let's all admit it. Obama is (mostly) black and sexy as fuck. He's got a voice like like the 'Chocolate Rain' guy and we'd all vote for him even if he wanted to legalize meth and make the legal drinking age 55.

He's got my vote, and who cares why. Now, let's talk about Mittens.

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.

Notice how that was phrased as a question, but I did not add a question mark. HENCE, it is not a question ("Yeah, hence!" - Anna Faris) it is a fucking statement, because not only do I not know who the fuck he thinks he is, neither does he. FACT.

Listen, Mitt Romney doesn't know his ass from the hole in his mom. (Ha! See where I took that? Offensive!) The only redeeming quality he has (literally) is that he got made fun of on '30 Rock'. That makes you somewhat/hella cool, as far as I'm concerned. That being said, I hope he dies.

Honestly, I'm mad tired, so I don't want to get into all this shit. Romney is equivalent to a quadriplegic, gay figure skater with harlequin ichthyosis, and therefore slightly unqualified to tell me what to do with my fuck-parts. I can't wait til he passes a law that makes female circumcision mandatory.

Who needs a clitoris?!