Okay. Let me tell you some secrets that will make you a better person and make people like you more.
Secret Number ONE:
It is very possible to look beautiful when you wake up after you stayed up too late and slept with your makeup on.
Step one: be me.
That's it.
Secret Number TWO:
Go to the gym. I mean, that's just like...we all should. Also, fart while you're there. Nobody knows it's you.
Secret Number THREE:
Don't fuck dudes. Just stop. Get to know them, THEN fuck them, THEN stop hanging out with them. That way, instead of being a disgusting slutbag snatch juice factory, you'll be the heart-breakin', homewreckin', "one that got away". That's what you want to be. Unless you're a stupid bitch. In that case, just keep doing what you're doing. Every city needs a stupid bitch.
Secret Number FOUR:
I don't know, just stop being rude. Nobody probably likes you because you're rude.
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